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Free Lunch #37 (“Happy” Fish Edition)

Hello there you happy fish. I want you to know that this is the one of the first few image results for “happy fish”.

I guess he does look happy. But more like a forced happy, like the kind that clowns at birthday parties have to put on to amuse the children. Anyways, back to Free Lunch. It’s been a really long time (2+ weeks) since I’ve posted a Free Lunch, but we’re back now! If you don’t know what Free Lunch is, basically, I just sit down with a device for 5 minutes and write as much as I can before I am out of time.

I’ll be starting at 5:31.

Now it begins. What begins, you might ask? If you did ask, I would be inclined to tell you that it’s Free Lunch. You already knew that, this was just filler. MWHAHAHA.

In meaningful or at least slightly thought poking news, we didn’t have too much work in our classes today. This was very welcome, as I was able to accomplish absolutely nothing in the free time I had for finishing early. Literally all I did was write the introduction to this post (fish and all), leave it, and play Santale and Bad Time Simulator for the rest of the time.

We still don’t have a band teacher, and the substitute got angry at me for correcting her. Ever since she was hired she’s been trying to get us to do non-band stuff in band. She had wanted us to write Haikus, and put that Haikus were 7-5-7 syllables…

I can’t wait until she’s gone. Though she did redeem herself slightly by letting me play Trumpet in the back room, I still don’t like her very much.

My time is up for this Free Lunch. I’m sorry that it was a little on the short side, but hopefully it retained your attention nonetheless.

Thanks for reading all the way down to the bottom of this post :1

Dictionary Taboo:

Minute shreds or ravelings of yarn.

The first person to answer correctly get’s eternal happiness. Probably.

Baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Somewhere Else Poetry

Somewhere Else #9

Sunlight is draped over the room

In it comes, with the force of a typhoon

Those who thought to stare down it’s rays

Only ended up in a blind daze

On and on, day after day, week after week

Somewhere always felt the sun peek

Though often personified, it remained emotionless

Though never aware, it helped relieve stress

Though less appreciated, it kept doing it’s job

Through thick and thin, it will never stop

 

Home · Somewhere Else Poetry

Somewhere Else #8

Just take 50 paces, then make a right

Walk towards the tree that blocks the light

Once there, look in the massive hollow trunk

And find the cave where you’ll soon spelunk

Scale down the wall, but be very cautious

Don’t look down or you’ll be nauseous

Once you hit the bottom, take the path on the left

The right has tricky foot holds, and bats which equal death

Down the tunnel, you hear a rushing waterfall

Get into the room, sit down after your long haul

Droplets spraying into the air around

The water flows in and out of the ground

The constant push of the freezing water, then the fall

Sitting comfortably reading a book against the wall

Sorry this one sucked!

Home

Lightbulbs Pt. 1

It’s late-ish at night. The masses are sleeping and the security cameras are peeping in their respective store fronts.

Nearly no one noticed the one light flickering dismally until it burned out, it’s last sparks of life keeping the street bright.

With all the people tucked away in their beds, couches, sleeping bags and street corners, only one lonely wandering figure saw the light expend it’s last breaths.

Within the quiet confines of the darkness brought on by dead bulbs, this being keeps the world bright. 

They replace every lightbulb with a successor, and take the dull ones back to the vault to be tinkered with, and eventually reissued.

Home

Nap

I turned on nice piano music

Dozed off to Kiss the Rain

Rudely awakened by my brother

Now I am grumpy

Meh.

Home

An Insult to All Poets

I feel as if whenever I write poetry, it’s really just me kind of making fun of the whole poetry thing. Don’t get me wrong, I think poetry is great, but whenever I write it, looking back it looks like satire to me.

Even when i’m trying to be serious, I often end up utilizing overused tropes to entertain myself. Or maybe that’s just how I see it.

Somewhere Else Poetry

Somewhere Else #7

Always tugging at us to come back

Whenever it’s resolve we lack

A home is a wonderful thing, though often underappreciated

It’s the one thing that always fuels you, and keeps you motivated

Through thick and thin

It’s where you begin

Your often unmade bed waiting for you every night

Inevitably ready to rejuvenate you after every day’s fight

A place to store all of your nostalgic trinkets

With shelves of DVDs, even though you only watch Netflix

A home is the place your heart yearns to be

Even if it’s just a nice shady tree

 

Free Lunch

Free Lunch #30

Hello there you lighter fluids. I just walked out of a building and it feels like the temperature just went up 20 degrees. It’s Friday, or at least it is in my timezone, so that means it’s time for another Free Lunch! That means I type for 5 minutes without stopping.

Starting at 1:12.

Yesterday was not that great for me, but today is a little bit better so far. I’ve been “working” a story booth for my mom both days, so it’s been pretty interesting. Yesterday was a Farmers Market, and today is at a place called Casa Azafrán.

I’m thinking that I will tag this post with every attention-screaming tag I can think of just as an experiment.

Such tags include: Writing, Poetry, Beauty, Books, Poem, Poems. You know. The usuals ssc.

On that ssc, I need to tell you what that means. Due to me being sick of typing lol and not laughing, I invented ssc!

ssc stands for silently smiles cooly. It’s much better than lol in every way.

I’m sorry that this post was quite short but I was kinds busy while writing it out on my phone.

Thanks for reading anyways.

Dictionary Taboo:

A small adult that poops their pants and screams a lot.

Baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Home · Somewhere Else Poetry

Somewhere Else #6

Let the clouds engulf you.

Fluffy and ever-morphing
Somehow alwats triggering endorphins
Whether crying or majestic, they emit emotion
Evoking feelings of nostalgia or devotion
Stirring up old thoughts from your mind
You may be surprised by what you’ll find
Welcome to the cloud kingdom
We’re full of opportunities for stardom
And teeming with imagination
You can come here for creation
Or simply stop by for some daily elation
You’re leaving already?
Stay here, you aren’t ready
Come back to the castle!
We don’t want any hassle, we just want you
Don’t let the clouds engulf you.

Home

A Intriguing Look At The Often Overlooked Duck Phenomenon

The duck to end all ducks.

Duck is the common name for a large number of species in the waterfowl family Anatidae, which also includes swans and geese. The ducks are divided among several subfamilies in the family Anatidae; they do not represent a monophyletic group (the group of all descendants of a single common ancestral species) but a form taxon, since swans and geese are not considered ducks. Ducks are mostly aquatic birds, mostly smaller than the swans and geese, and may be found in both fresh water and sea water.

Ducks are sometimes confused with several types of unrelated water birds with similar forms, such as loons or divers, grebes, gallinules, and coots.

Etymology

Mallard landing in approach

Pacific black duck displaying the characteristic upending “duck”.

The word duck comes from Old English *dūce “diver”, a derivative of the verb *dūcan “to duck, bend down low as if to get under something, or dive”, because of the way many species in the dabbling duck group feed by upending; compare with Dutch duiken and German tauchen “to dive”.

This word replaced Old English ened/ænid “duck”, possibly to avoid confusion with other Old English words, like ende “end” with similar forms. Other Germanic languages still have similar words for “duck”, for example, Dutch eend “duck” and German Ente “duck”. The word ened/ænid was inherited from Proto-Indo-European; compare: Latin anas “duck”, Lithuanian ántis “duck”, Ancient Greek nēssa/nētta (νῆσσα, νῆττα) “duck”, and Sanskrit ātí “water bird”, among others.

A duckling is a young duck in downy plumage[1] or baby duck;[2] but in the food trade young adult ducks ready for roasting are sometimes labelled “duckling”.[citation needed]

A male duck is called a drake and the female is called a duck, or in ornithology a hen.[citation needed]

Mallard drake

Morphology

The overall body plan of ducks is elongated and broad, and the ducks are also relatively long-necked, albeit not as long-necked as the geese and swans. The body shape of diving ducks varies somewhat from this in being more rounded. The bill is usually broad and contains serrated lamellae, which are particularly well defined in the filter-feeding species. In the case of some fishing species the bill is long and strongly serrated. The scaled legs are strong and well developed, and generally set far back on the body, more so in the highly aquatic species. The wings are very strong and are generally short and pointed, and the flight of ducks requires fast continuous strokes, requiring in turn strong wing muscles. Three species of steamer duck are almost flightless, however. Many species of duck are temporarily flightless while moulting; they seek out protected habitat with good food supplies during this period. This moult typically precedes migration.

The drakes of northern species often have extravagant plumage, but that is moulted in summer to give a more female-like appearance, the “eclipse” plumage. Southern resident species typically show less sexual dimorphism, although there are exceptions like the paradise shelduck of New Zealand which is both strikingly sexually dimorphic and where the female’s plumage is brighter than that of the male. The plumage of juvenile birds generally resembles that of the female. Over the course of evolution, female ducks have evolved to have a corkscrew shaped vagina to prevent rape.

Behaviour

Ducks in the ponds at Khulna, Bangladesh

Feeding

Pecten along the beak

Ducks exploit a variety of food sources such as grasses, aquatic plants, fish, insects, small amphibians, worms, and small molluscs.

Dabbling ducks feed on the surface of water or on land, or as deep as they can reach by up-ending without completely submerging.[3]Along the edge of the beak there is a comb-like structure called a pecten. This strains the water squirting from the side of the beak and traps any food. The pecten is also used to preen feathers and to hold slippery food items.

Diving ducks and sea ducks forage deep underwater. To be able to submerge more easily, the diving ducks are heavier than dabbling ducks, and therefore have more difficulty taking off to fly.

A few specialized species such as the mergansers are adapted to catch and swallow large fish.

The others have the characteristic wide flat beak adapted to dredging-type jobs such as pulling up waterweed, pulling worms and small molluscs out of mud, searching for insect larvae, and bulk jobs such as dredging out, holding, turning head first, and swallowing a squirming frog. To avoid injury when digging into sediment it has no cere, but the nostrils come out through hard horn.

The Guardian (British newspaper) published an article on Monday 16 March 2015 advising that ducks should not be fed with bread because it damages the health of the ducks and pollutes waterways.[4]

Breeding

A Muscovy duck duckling.

Ducks are generally monogamous, although these bonds usually last only a single year.[5] Larger species and the more sedentary species (like fast river specialists) tend to have pair-bonds that last numerous years.[6] Most duck species breed once a year, choosing to do so in favourable conditions (spring/summer or wet seasons). Ducks also tend to make a nest before breeding, and, after hatching, lead their ducklings to water. Mother ducks are very caring and protective of their young, but may abandon some of their ducklings if they are physically stuck in an area they cannot get out of (such as nesting in an enclosed courtyard) or are not prospering due to genetic defects or sickness brought about by hypothermia, starvation, or disease. Ducklings can also be orphaned by inconsistent late hatching where a few eggs hatch after the mother has abandoned the nest and led her ducklings to water.[citation needed]

duck eggs

Most domestic ducks neglect their eggs and ducklings, and their eggs must be hatched under a broody hen or artificially.

Communication

Females of most dabbling ducks[citation needed] make the classic “quack” sound, but despite widespread misconceptions, most species of duck do not “quack”. In general, ducks make a wide range of calls, ranging from whistles, cooing, yodels and grunts. For example, the scaup – which are diving ducks – make a noise like “scaup” (hence their name). Calls may be loud displaying calls or quieter contact calls.

A common urban legend claims that duck quacks do not echo; however, this has been proven to be false. This myth was first debunked by the Acoustics Research Centre at the University of Salford in 2003 as part of the British Association‘s Festival of Science.[7] It was also debunked in one of the earlier episodes of the popular Discovery Channel television show MythBusters.[8]

Distribution and habitat

File:Ducks Foraging along the Lake Okanagan shoreline in Winter near Maude Roxby Wetlands.webm

Ducks Foraging along the Lake Okanagan shoreline in Winter near Maude Roxby Wetlands

The ducks have a cosmopolitan distribution. A number of species manage to live on sub-Antarctic islands like South Georgia and the Auckland Islands. Numerous ducks have managed to establish themselves on oceanic islands such as Hawaii, New Zealand and Kerguelen, although many of these species and populations are threatened or have become extinct.

Some duck species, mainly those breeding in the temperate and Arctic Northern Hemisphere, are migratory; those in the tropics, however, are generally not. Some ducks, particularly in Australia where rainfall is patchy and erratic, are nomadic, seeking out the temporary lakes and pools that form after localised heavy rain.[citation needed]

Predators

Worldwide, ducks have many predators. Ducklings are particularly vulnerable, since their inability to fly makes them easy prey not only for predatory birds but also for large fish like pike, crocodilians, predatory testudines such as the Alligator snapping turtle, and other aquatic hunters, including fish-eating birds such as herons. Ducks’ nests are raided by land-based predators, and brooding females may be caught unaware on the nest by mammals, such as foxes, or large birds, such as hawks or owls.

Adult ducks are fast fliers, but may be caught on the water by large aquatic predators including big fish such as the North American muskie and the European pike. In flight, ducks are safe from all but a few predators such as humans and the peregrine falcon, which regularly uses its speed and strength to catch ducks.

Relationship with humans

Domestication

Ducks have many economic uses, being farmed for their meat, eggs, and feathers (particularly their down). They are also kept and bred by aviculturists and often displayed in zoos. Almost all the varieties of domestic ducks are descended from the mallard (Anas platyrhynchos), apart from the Muscovy duck (Cairina moschata).[9][10] The Call duck is another example of a domestic duck breed. Its name comes from its original use established by hunters. This was to attract wild mallards from the sky, into traps set for them on the ground. The Call duck has also received a place as the world’s smallest domestic duck breed, as it weighs less than 1kg. [11]

Hunting

In many areas, wild ducks of various species (including ducks farmed and released into the wild) are hunted for food or sport, by shooting, or formerly by decoys. Because an idle floating duck or a duck squatting on land cannot react to fly or move quickly, “a sitting duck” has come to mean “an easy target”. These ducks may be contaminated by pollutants such as PCBs.

Cultural references

In 2002, psychologist Richard Wiseman and colleagues at the University of Hertfordshire, UK, finished a year-long LaughLab experiment, concluding that of all animals, ducks attract the most humor and silliness; he said, “If you’re going to tell a joke involving an animal, make it a duck.”[12] The word “duck” may have become an inherently funny word in many languages, possibly because ducks are seen as silly in their looks or behavior. Of the many ducks in fiction, many are cartoon characters, such as Walt Disney‘s Donald Duck, and Warner Bros.Daffy Duck. Howard the Duck started as a comic book character in 1973 and was made into a movie in 1986.[13] The 1992 Disney film The Mighty Ducks, starring Emilio Estevez chose the duck as the mascot for the fictional youth hockey team who are protagonists of the movie, based on the duck being described as a fierce fighter. This led to the duck becoming the nickname and mascot for the eventual National Hockey League professional team Anaheim Ducks. The duck is also the nickname of the University of Oregon sports teams as well as the Long Island Ducks minor league baseball team.