what I’m up to

hey

its moi

picture this: a girl (me) talking on the phone to cat and listening to pearl jam and typing on the computer a bunch of nonsense.

i have a problem where i draw on myself.

like, i like to draw little hearts and stick people and stars and things like that to keep me company because sometimes things get really lonely and i have no one to turn to except those hears and stick people and stars.

i really love this song called “i was all over her” by salvia palth

its good.

i went for a long bike ride today in a beret, a parrot ring. i blasted the whole Yankee Hotel Foxtrot album by Wilco and sang “radio cure” when it came on.

it was really peaceful and nice and i wanted everything to be like that.

i am sitting at my desk looking at a stack of notebooks and books (Paradise Lost, Great Expectations and A Light In The Attic). there is a picture of a little girl from the 1920s and one from the 1940s of a woman by the sea. In a cup, there are a bunch of baby’s breath flowers and there is a sketchbook and color pencils and my phone propped up and cat in a pink floyd sweater talking about fish necklaces and there are candles and a cup with pens and pencils and a card i got from victoria that’s marble and a choker of mine and a mirror and chapstick and five guitar picks and a tube of lipstick i never wear because it’s too dark.

on the floor next to me there is my dog and his favorite stuffed animal of mine that he doesn’t hurt he just likes to cuddle with it and he’s on my rug and behind that is my unmade bed and about 5 notebooks are on that  and then there is my keyboard and guitar and a shoe and what am i even talking about ugh

im sorry

okay

selater

MAZ TEACHES U ABOUT STUFF PART 2

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††

hey kiddos.

u ready to learn about some stuff.

here we go.

lol heres something I like talking about

AURAS

first things first

an aura is an colorful energy surrounding one’s psychical body.

the energy explains the basis of ur personality. as ur personality is ever changing so is ur aura.

my aura is magenta currently.

I have an exam so more later

ask me questions and i’ll answer

gross

This is gonna be a post where I write whatever comes to mind.

First, let’s talk about how I didn’t sleep last night. This happens a lot, but I was particularly sad. So after listening to Mac Demarco’s new album (!!) I pirated Clueless and watched it about three times. Then, I texted a friend asking what movie to watch next, and she said to watch *inter movie here*.

Honestly, it was just so repulsive. I couldn’t watch the whole thing. I’m not going to tell you the title because I don’t want you to be freaked as well. It was just so so gross. I gaged a few times. It was set in the 70s, and it was just so disgusting. The narrator was a 15 year old girl living in California. That’s all I wanna say about that.
Tonight, im probably gonna watch some of my all time favorites. Aladdin maybe?

 

bye bye

if only

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your symbol of power during the next three
weeks is a key. Visualize it. What picture pops into your imagination? Is it
a bejeweled golden key like what might be used to access an old treasure
chest? Is it a rustic key for a garden gate or an oversized key for an
ornate door? Is it a more modern thing that locks and unlocks car doors
with radio waves? Whatever you choose, Gemini, I suggest you enshrine it
in as an inspirational image in the back of your mind. Just assume that it
will subtly inspire and empower you to find the metaphorical “door” that
leads to the next chapter of your life story.

 

If only

MAZ’S FAVORITE SONGS PART 1

These are my favorite songs. I’m only gonna post 10 at a time.

Let’s hop on in.

a. Drooler by Palehound

//favorite lyric: And vandalise my body if it helps you sleep soundly//

b.  Ybba Rof by Shelf-Life

//favorite lyric: reading of all your crimes
private or not//

c. Thinning by Snail Mail

//favorite lyrics:  wanna spend the entire year
Just face down
And on my own time
I wanna waste mine//

d. Car by Porches

//fav lyrics: If I let it soak
Will it become clean
Let the salt carry it
Away from me”

e. Cartesian Bodies by The KVB

f. An Abundance Of Strawberries by Julia Brown

//favorite lyrics: I don’t want to miss you
but I already do
for all I know
it’s already in you//

g. Bobby by (Sandy) Alex G

//favorite lyrics: I paint pictures of my heart
The colors blue and purple start
To bleed into an endless dark
It’s only you it’s only you
I’d burn them for you
If you want me to//

h. Teenage Girl by Cherry Glazerr

//favorite lyric: Rob Kardashion’s a tool//

i. Mock Origami by Matthew and the Arrogant Sea

//favorite lyric: Idle fingers snatching up the gemini (aahhh)
Feed the meter overflowing apple child//

there. 10.

chao.

A Look Inside Maz’s Brain

I don’t really know who I want to be,

So stop asking me.

EXPLICIT LANGUAGE WARNING

here’s the thing, about being me.

shitty things have happened to me.

and no, not like “i failed a test once” shitty

but like call-the-cops-oh-my-god-are-you-alright shitty.

due to these horrible things, my brain can only take so much.

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. Here is one thing that bothers me so much.

– Touch. Don’t fucking touch me.

Please, if i don’t touch you first, I can’t be touched.

It triggers bad memories and it freaks me out.

I always wonder about if things were different, you know?

Like, if my dad didn’t leave me, i wouldn’t have abandonment issues.

and if i had never met Layal, would i even be depressed?

If Layal had told someone about Michael, would she still be here?

If I hadn’t ridden the bus that day, would i be okay?

If I had stayed back with my friends to talk, would he’ve hurt someone else?

I ask myself these questions everyday, but i know i can’t change anything.

everything sucks.

and everything will continue to suck unless you have a positive outlook.

but how can i be optimistic when all of these things have happened?

these are questions for my therapist.

bye bye.

MAZ TEACHES YOU ABOUT THINGS THAT YOU DONT CARE ABOUT

Inspired by Victotoro

Today, I am teaching you all about something that I care a lot about and something that is very important to me, my well being and my life.

And those things are: Chakra’s.

Chakra’s are, according to Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism,  are the energy points in a body. There are over 88,000 chakra’s in a body (not in a psychical, earthen body, but in a subtle mind and spirit body) These energy channels are also called Nadi.

The word Chakra, in a brief sense, means “circle.” It is ever flowing. Ever continuous.

There is no set rules for chakras, so I’ll be telling you my perceived version.

Here’s how I work on my Chakras. First, I burn some incense. Usually, it’s rose, but occasionally i’ll do jasmine or lavender. Second, I lay out an area where I can meditate. This is usually on the floor, on a pillow. Then, get dressed into the color Chakra you need to work on.

The Root Chakra- Color- Red- Located under the body, close to the genitals. It is meant to ground you, it is meant to keep your feet (metaphorically) on the ground.

The Sex Chakra- Color- Orange- located at the top of your butt (I was going to say something else but I was too lazy to write explicit language warning) It stimulates the, you know, *coughs*

Solar Plexus- Color- Yellow- Located right there in your stomach- This fuels your strength.

The Heart Chakra- Color- Green- Located at your heart- Controls happiness (This is the one I meditate most with.)

The Throat Chakra- Color- Turquoise- Located at your throat, duh. Helps you say what you want to say. (For example, something terrible happened to me in November, and I didn’t say a word to anyone, even though I wanted to. Three days before I told someone, I meditated with the Throat Chakra.)

The Third Eye- Color- Indigo- Located in your forehead. Gives insight and wisdom. Hub for creativity.

The Crown- Color- Purple- Located above your head. When you have reached The Crown in meditation. Enlightment.

that’s it, I guess. Theres a lot more that I may get into later. Comment questions.

byeeeeeeeeeeeee

heyyyyyy

its ur least favorite person !!!

my day went like this:

woke up

went to an old lady crossdressing dog dancing competition

went to a party at Jamie’s house where we sat around and played video games

went home

went to a friends house

whereeeeeee we ate pizza, watch scary movies and the office and made a paper towl- band aid bracelet and sang wrote pretty songs and had fun.

office quote of the day: (was going to be something waaaaaaaaay inappropriate but I’m good ol aunt maz) : “You don’t say collard people, that’s offensive.”

chao

:))))))))))))))))))))))))

also, follow me on Instagram if you want. @wasteurthyme

gotta get that self promo 😉

whoops

here’s the thing:

i have come to the harsh realization that i’m a nerd. Not a nerd in the braces, type of way, but the worst kind of nerd.

A music nerd.

Like it’s gotten to the point where if you challenge my music opinions, i will drag you to hell.

Anyways.

hi.

i’m maz. i suffer from the problem that most teenage white girls suffer from which is:

Identity Crisis.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

I feel like i have a pretty firm grasp on who i am and i’m pretty proud of that.

i am a very opinionated, smart and unique young gal.

(How would my friends describe me? Riley would probably say “nice” even though i know i’m not. I have absolutely no idea what Jamie or Victoria would say)

On the downside, i am very opinionated, very sad and i have a very low self esteem, for obvious reasons.

i mean and then i want to find where i belong, who i belong with, etc etc which is IDENTITY CRISIS.

where do i belong? who do i belong with? music geeks? i mean i love music. maybe the writers? i write bad poems sometimes. Or maybe the geeks? Why are there all these stereotypes? Why are there all these cliques? Is this Mean Girls, Is this Freaks And Geeks?

why do i have to fit in anywhere?

why can’t i just be alone?

well, as much as i’d love to continue i have to get ready for a party. comment questions if you’d like that i’ll answer in the next post.

chao.

maz.

let’s do something long and meaningful

Okay. Hi. I’m being instructed to write a good post. Here goes.

Don’t post this

 

The ribbon worm:

The Nemertea, also called ribbon worms or proboscis worms, (and sometimes referred to as Rhynchocoela or Nemertini,) are a distinctive group of 1150 known species of mostly marine invertebrates, found world-wide (Gibson, 1995). Nemerteans have an unsegmented body, thin and elongated with no differentiated head. (according to wiki)

Fun facts about Marine Ribbon Worms:

  • the largest ribbon worm in the world was 197 feet.
  • Smallest ribbon worm is less than a centimeter.
  • They can shrink 10% less then their body length
  • They also expand