endangered pandas appreciation

*in the distance, there is a gentle rustling of bamboo, and the slight crunch of grass. you tilt your head, and are met with a pair of big black eyes…*

hi hi!

it’s me again.

so, i was procrastinating from homework (still am. whoops.) and was scrolling through instagram like i do. i was flipping through a couple photos, when i saw a picture of this brown panda named Qizai. i was instantly floored by this adorably unique animal, so I decided to research a bit into Qizai’s life.

(after all, the red panda is my favorite animal, but that might change to be a brown panda. i don’t know, but i just love pandas)

apparently Qizai was abandoned as a kid and was “bullied” by other pandas who took his bamboo! i wanted to hug him before, and i want to hug him even more now.

i mean, look at this cute little face!

brown pandas are extremely rare, and it rumored that there are only 200-300 left in the world. there are much fewer of these lovable critters than the red panda, which is less than 10,000. nonetheless, still an endangered species.

comment your favorite animal if you want! it’s been a while since i’ve actively asked questions to this audience. 

/ in other news /

i’m still writing up a storm, and even have upbeat songs in my catalog. i’ve written about 25 decent songs this year, the most recent being one i wrote yesterday.

i’ve been making an effort to advance my self care (see my last post here) by signing up for a gym and investing a lot more time doings thing i love doing (i.e, songwriting, candles, little things like that). we’re heading upwards, people!

i thought i knew all of the first position notes on violin, but i didn’t realize i hadn’t learned low 1 and high 3. but now, i do! my teacher says they’re doing a recital in May, but it’ll be a while before i pick a piece to perform because i learn things pretty fast.

this year has gone by ridiculously fast-I can’t believe it’s already March.

/ songs i like right now /

i suppose i’ve really gotten a format for my posts now. i think this whole music part thingy will be a regular. i don’t actually have a lot of songs i like right now (as in, not songs i’m playing on repeat for any particular reason), but i started listening to Vampire Weekend and I really, really like their music. i want some of their albums on vinyl; their aesthetic is amazing. i remember trying to listen to them a while back and not really liking it, but now for some reason i love it.

that’s all i have for you guys today.

if you have anything that you would be interested seeing from me, let me know! these days i just post whatever comes to mind. i’ve had a few scientific ideas floating around recently that i think might make a great discussion post.

i am going to procrastinate on homework a little longer and do a heavy cram session, so i’ll catch you on the flip side. have wonderful lives.



a pinch of optimism

*it’s been so long that you’ve forgotten what it looked like to have a theatrical piece welcoming you to another piece of trash post. surprise, surprise. ghost account appears, watching the sunset and numbly reflecting on life’s events as the days of 2018 pass on…*

hi hi!

it’s me again.

i said i was going to try to post more, and here i am.

 wow, i have loads to mention.

/ a book i’m reading /

ok, so not very long ago i started a book called “See What I Have Done” by Sarah Schmidt. the concept of this book fascinated me once i read the summary at Barnes & Noble, but beware, this is not a soft and fluffy read! it’s based around the infamous unsolved mystery of the Lizzie Borden murders in 1892. i haven’t gotten that much into it, but the author has a way with words in this book that really can make you disturbed, yet allured by the mystery it was written around. it switches to different perspectives, catching all sides of the story, and wow, it’s very descriptive. i’d recommend it to someone who likes darker things and mysteries.

/ the instrument i’ve been playing for about a month now /

on January 4th, i had my first violin lesson, and have since been absolutely hooked on this instrument. i’ve felt like a part of me has been awakened that is driven by this thirst for musical knowledge, so i have a couple more instruments i want to learn, which includes the cello, bass guitar and maybe even the harp. however, back to violin, i’ve been progressing very well. i know all of the first position notes now, and i think it will be only in a month or two that i will move on to second position. i’ve almost finished my first book (which is called essential elements). i have a crap ton of books that my teacher gave to me as well that i’ve yet to open.

/ viva la self care / 

my birthday is incredulously close at the moment,  and i figure i might as well admit that i was born on the 6th of February. the February 6th squad contains a variety of individuals, like Babe Ruth, Charlie Heaton (Stranger Things!), Bob Marley and most importantly Rick Astley. my entire life is a rick roll. i am a joke.


Image result for rick astley gif


anyway, this isn’t my point.

today, i got my hair re-red-ified (don’t you dare try to tell me that it’s a word because it is now), and i realized something.

man, you feel better about whatever is happening to if you pitch a dime to taking care of yourself. after all, sometimes that’s the best thing you can do. life sucks. things will happen that are the least preferable outcome.  however, if you let yourself wallow in self pity, i found that you are so much less likely to get anywhere. yes it sucks, and there’s a point of self-care where you have to stop the continuous denial and reach for acceptance. you don’t have to make it your entire world! do things you love. that’s worth more than spending your days thinking about what you hate.

that may sound so sappy, but it’s true.

start having your tea with a pinch of optimism. it’s so much better for you. 

/ i made a good pun the other day / 

me: *knocks over gnome when walking to car*

me: whoops, i knocked over a gnome.

mom: oh no!

me: no, oh gNOME.

that’s all i have for today!

i hope you enjoyed this post. it’s been a while since i’ve felt so authentic personality-wise in what i’ve written on here. if you read the entire thing, thanks a bunch!

speaking of that, i’ve written over 20 songs within the past 3 months or so. i don’t think i’ll post any of them on here, but i’ve had a lot to say to a lot of people recently to be vague.

things will get better, it just may be a longer road than previously thought, like starting a race and realizing it’s a marathon.

take care of yourselves, and i’ll catch you on the flip side.


*the sunset draws to a close, and ghost account retreats back inside. she turns back for one final look at the moon, before closing the door tight…*




















1 year!!

edit: hey, this is also my 50th post! how funny is that! 


i’m scheduling this post for tomorrow (it’s january 22nd at the time i’m writing this, because i’m sick from food poisoning and stayed home from school. i feel like death )

it’s 2018 now! in fact, 23 days into it. how has your 2018 been so far? let me know in the comments.

1 year ago today, i posted my first ever post on this blog, *insert inspiring welcoming title here that makes you want to click*.

my witty humor was very present here! wow, my life was different when i wrote it.

i have noticed when looking back at my posts from last year that the overwhelming majority of them are ridiculously depressing, and for that i apologize. i will try to keep those to a minimum.

if you read my posts last year, you rode a very tricky time with me, and if you kept reading, thanks!

i assure you that i am still very much so a klutz. trust me, i walk INTO doors and walls alike, so who knows, we may get another klutz chronicles post again at some point.

good freakin new music:

troye sivan // the good side

troye sivan // my my my!

eden // vertigo, full album

lophee // ‘please come back’ mix

i am finding myself not having any words to say so, as i said last year,


(an excerpt from week recap 1 day early, check it out. it’s honestly a work of art)

see you sometime in your wonderful lives,



“5 Days of Announcements” Day 5- The Final Surprise

       hOI readers! Today is a big day for the RB team, and i’m very excited to share with you why that is. Stay tuned for the end!

*keeping it suspenseful*

With the “5 Days of Announcements” drawing to a close, one would imagine that we would wrap it up on a very high note , and we really are.

As this is the last post of the 5 days, I want to revisit why we started this. We started this because our blog now has 500 followers! And for that, we all thank you. This blog has been a fabulous outlet of creativity, information, and ideas, and none of this would have happened without you.

That being said, drum roll please….

Image result for drum roll gif

We are putting an apostrophe into our title!

Yes, the days of “Rileys Backpack” will finally end as we make a move to be grammatically correct.

To put this in a metaphorical perspective, the comma may represent a change that symbolizes the start of a new age, or a different time frame. That puts it on a level that isn’t just the visual change!

I’ll stop spitting out metaphors before I start sounding like a tarot card meaning booklet.

The RB team has grown quite a bit over the last year, and despite the obstacles in 2017, we all persisted.

As you have seen throughout these 5 days, 2018 has a lot in store!

As it is the 31st of December, the last day of the year, the RB team and I all want to wish you a happy New Year’s Eve & a happy New Year.

We are excited for what is to come!

Thanks for reading, and see your sometime in your wonderful lives.


I will try to post more, i’m still sorry for completely blanking!










an ode to 2017 // an update

hey, blog.

i know that i completely disappeared from here for a total of 141 days. 

i’m sorry!

honestly, writing posts has gotten super awkward for me. i don’t know why. every time i try to write, i feel like i’m being ridiculously boring and words just don’t come out in a way that sounds alright, if that makes any sense to you.

however, considering the fact that 2018 is around the corner, i thought i’d do something to commemorate the year of 2017.

it’s going to be a little sad, but i do promise to talk about happier stuff though, so stay tuned. 

2017 was the worst year of my life so far. it was seriously bad on every level for me.

things got better for a little while through the last part of treatment and after it ended. i was feeling really great until after thanksgiving, when other things in my life decided to take a turn for the worse.

me right now is the product of this horror story.

however, it’s okay, because in the end, i learned a lot of life lessons and i have a slightly better understanding of what to do in different situations, which is a very good thing!

going through treatment has allowed me to actually be pretty optimistic, which has helped me deal with the more recent stuff. i know that if i was dealing with the type of stuff i’m dealing with now a couple months ago, it would be 1,000 times worse, so i’m grateful.

(for those of you who don’t know what i mean by treatment, i was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ptsd and went through something called neurofeedback!)

to move on to the lighter stuff, here are some of my favorite songs right now. on the right side will be the artist name, and on the left side will be the song name.

anywhere // fuvk 

yam yam // no vacation

exhale // treasureseason 

flower boy // lemonade

undo // the 1975

waste // oh wonder

this reminds me, in october i saw oh wonder live! it was seriously amazing. here’s a picture.


i saw them in knoxville, tennessee at the bijou theatre. it’s an absolutely gorgeous venue and if you ever get the chance to go, it’s an amazing place to see a concert. they played some of the songs i didn’t think they were going to play (like waste and shark), so that was a pleasant surprise.

oh! i did color my hair red, and i really like it.

i have written quite a few songs; 6 ones that are actually good out of around 10. the most recent song was one i wrote 2 days ago. i did have a horrible period of writer’s block that lasted from september to november, but i completely eased out of it and have written 3 out of those 6 songs this month.

i have started watching sailor moon as well.

also, guess who is starting violin!! i know i’m getting one for christmas, and i’m starting lessons in january. i’m so excited!

so… that was my post!

i hope you liked it, and hopefully you couldn’t feel my awkwardness radiating through your screen.

i don’t know when i’ll post again, but i’ll see you then.

merry christmas (or hanukkah, or kwanzaa, or whatever it is you celebrate this time of year), happy 2018 and live your wonderful lives to the fullest. things do get better, i promise you.













how to: cure the school supply messiness epidemic


I know, one post after another…kind of unheard of for me!

But, I had something else that I’d like to talk about.

At around 10 PM last night, I got an unexpected burst of energy, and immediately took to all the Target bags in my room that I had been too lazy to touch before.

And what I had spent nearly 2 hours doing was organizing my entire backpack for school all from an impulse decision. School doesn’t start until Monday.

I’m kinda weird like that.

Actually, call me crazy, I love school supply shopping and getting things ready to go to school. (lemme know in the comments if you are the same way!)

There’s just something about starting a whole new year, getting whole new things…now that I really think about it in depth, I think it may be because i’m someone who likes the fresh start, clean slate feeling.

But wow, I didn’t just pick random folders and notebooks, I had a color theme, and a certain aesthetic. Literally all my school supplies (excluding the hole-puncher I got because i thought it was a stapler which was navy blue, my mini stapler that I will take which is teal, and my planner has some navy in it) are black and white with cool tumblr-esque designs, and it’s just pleasing to look all organized.

But then I know that every single thing I own will be a complete trashy mess by the end of the year, because I typically am a messy person, which contradicts the part of my attitude WHERE I LIKE TO ORGANIZE.

Also, since I’m a sentimental freak (oh my god, I will not throw anything away if it reminds me of a memory), I have kept all my binders and such SINCE 3RD GRADE. I mean, I don’t blame myself because it’s really entertaining to look at all my Warrior Cat/American Girl doll sketches when I was in 4th grade, or my ripped apart 5th grade binder that I attempted to decorate with fashion tape.

Every single year, I tell myself, “this is the year I will be organized.”

Then, laziness takes over me and I throw more than half the stuff that’s supposed to go in the binder INTO MY HOMEWORK FOLDER, CAUSING IT TO FALL APART ONLY A LITTLE BIT INTO THE YEAR.

But now, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and not use a fabric binder, and instead use a smaller, more convenient file organizer.

And I have an inkling that I will extremely regret it, BUT AT LEAST I CAN SAY THAT I REALLY TRIED.

I wish I could say everyone falls victim to the school supply messiness epidemic, but an awful lot of my friends have beautifully organized binders all year round so…

But those of you desperately trying to not be messy (like me!), these first steps may get you closer to being a little more organized when it comes to your school supplies.

  • Use a fabric binder. Trust me, these can’t fall apart from your messiness, and they will make your binder look more clean, even if it isn’t. They also have a shoulder strap and lots of room inside.
  • Make sure NOT TO KEEP YOUR HOMEWORK FOLDER CLOGGED, OR ANY OTHER FOLDER THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE OUT. If you have a habit of stuffing all your assignments that aren’t even homework most of the time into your homework folder, it may be helpful to carry separate folders for all subjects outside of your binder, so you can organize each assignment by subject.
  • Embrace it, I don’t know. At least have a paper and pencil on you if you decide to set your binder on fire mid-year.

Well, that’s my talk on school supplies. If you made it all the way down here through that mess of words, EVEN IF IT DOESN’T APPLY TO YOU, congratulations, you earn my respect slightly more.

See you sometime in your wonderful lives,









book and movie ramblings


I’m here again, to talk about completely random things in the small time space I have.

And if you’d like to take this writing journey with me, thank you.

So, is anything new?

I mean, kind of.

I’ve decided to start reading To Kill A Mockingbird and am loving it so far. I’m contemplating picking up some more classic reads later in the year. After this, I plan on reading a book I got called Last Song Before Night. It’s been a long time since I’ve read, and I think that was just because I was spending my Barnes and Noble visits checking out all the vinyls and felt like there was nothing that I absolutely had to read. But I had heard as lot about To Kill A Mockingbird, and now around 50 pages in, I am hooked, and am probably going to binge-read it this week.

      The last book series I read was the House Of Night series, which I definitely liked a lot. Some very long book series (i’m talking over 10 books of 200 and up pages) are written by writers who may fail to keep you reading throughout the whole thing, but P.C and Kristin Cast did a wonderful job at it, and I recommend it if you like tension, some violence, vampires (this is a lot better than Twilight, but so sue me, the Twilight Saga was not a horrible read, it was actually pretty good, although I dropped the series before starting the third book), and magic aspects (i’m not talking wizard magic, i’m talking light and dark magic).

But we’ll see if I start into a new series sometime soon and it takes the crown from The Maze Runner.

Actually, that reminds me, let’s briefly talk about how horrible The Scorch Trials movie was:

 I was very disappointed in the movie, which had practically destroyed the entire plot.


I think The Scorch Trials was my favorite book in the series by far. I was completely taken when I was reading it, and the plot was so well-written. For example, when Teresa and Aris teamed up to betray Thomas and such, or meeting Brenda and Jorge in the desert, or Rat Man in the beginning, or walking down the mysterious dark hallway after going through the Flat Trans, or being lured to find a cure, or…THE BOOK WAS GREAT, OKAY? AND THE MOVIE CUT OUT THE ENTIRE BETRAYAL, THE ENTIRE END, ALMOST THE ENTIRE STORY.




And what’s even worse is because they screwed up the second book, the third book is completely going to have to be different, because they weren’t supposed to meet the Right Arm until well into The Death Cure, BUT NO.

I wasn’t as upset about them screwing up the plot of the first book because they didn’t screw it up that horribly, and that movie was my favorite movie for a very long time.

Well, I mean, them cutting out the telepathic part between Thomas and Teresa was pretty upsetting, and the really cool details like spelling letters through maps of the maze, and the mysterious Griever hole.

But even though the books were amazing, there was a particular part that made me VERY sad; Newt’s death. Newt was always my favorite character, AND JAMES DASHNER KILLED HIM?! It was so heart-breaking, reading as Newt fell more and more into The Flare, and became more and more of a Crank. And for him to beg for Thomas to kill him?




Other book series I have read include The Hunger Games and Divergent.

Parts of me are screaming my sadness from a few of the deaths in those series, (2 in The Hunger Games and 1 in Divergent) but I will refrain from rambling any more spoilers.

So yeah, that’s all I have.

I’m going to watch La La Land (yes, I know, I am so late to the party, it came out last year) tonight, and I’m excited because I’ve been interested in seeing it for a while.

I’m concluding this post now.

(yeah, I know, choppy transitions)

See you sometime in your wonderful lives.




















super great life update


This is a reminder that I haven’t died, and am in fact still living.

Here’s a good ‘ole life update for you, if you wanna care to read it.

First thing’s first: Treatment is going pretty well. I’ve been noticing changes in my sleep and my mood in general. Yes, I still hit lows, but I still have a very long way to go.

Another thing: I now have an incredibly subtle smokey purple balayage.  The color actually reminds me of a galaxy: there are a few faded blue pieces (hence why it’s a smokey purple), and with the purple and my original brown hair color, it kinda reminds me of it, which is super cool.

More stuff: Since I have to limit screen time, I’ve been working on improving other skills. Mainly guitar. I’ve been playing guitar A LOT, and now I think i’m getting pretty decent at it. I think my favorite song to play is Little Uneasy by Fazerdaze.

Music stuff: I actually haven’t written a song in quite a while. But hey, writer’s block happens. And it’s also very sucky. BUT! I have gotten my very own studio to record my own music! I mean, it’s in a lot of boxes right now, but I have it! It’s more like a studio of synthesizers: if you know how to play piano, you are pretty much set. It’s pretty complicated to explain, but one day, I may produce a nicely recorded and mixed song of my own to you guys!

Oh Wonder: I mean…




Okay, that’s pretty much all I have.

If you’ve made it down this far, I applaud you, and thank you for caring.

See you sometime in your wonderful lives,



a semi-goodbye


so…i sincerely apologize for the gap between this and my last post.

a lot of stuff has happened to me, and a lot of stuff is still happening or will happen soon.

i have depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

and in a few hours, i will go into my very first session of treatment of something called neuro feedback.

one thing i have to do so i actually get cured and remove negative electrodes and whatnot is cut down screen time.

i’m talking a half hour a day, for a few months.

that means my posts will be incredibly rare, but it’s all for the best.

as for why i have hardly posted…

i’m not feeling well emotionally, and i never want to post when i’m like that.

with depression, it’s either i feel nothing or i feel too much. when i feel nothing, i have nothing to talk about. when i feel everything, i shouldn’t talk about it. if i write a post dedicated to it, it’s far too negative. and i really struggle to write about better things in that mindset.

you know?


this is a semi-goodbye.


and hopefully, soon i’ll be better.

do great things, live your lovely days to the fullest, and have wonderful lives.

see you sometime.





pride fest


So, I’m putting this post together a little last minute, but I know I haven’t been posting a lot. And i’m sorry about that. But i’m doing musical theatre this week so the likelihood of me posting is even slimmer. That being said, I need to write about something.

And what better to write about than the fact that I went to Pride Fest today with a close friend of mine.

So, let’s talk about that.

Basically, Pride Fest is all about celebrating the LGBTQ+ in a huge festival. Yesterday was the parade, but I couldn’t go to that. Today was kind of like a craft fair of all things LGBTQ+-there was a lot of booths everywhere.

And let me tell you about the flags.


To leave Pride without a flag of any kind was practically impossible, so I succumbed and got a little rainbow one, along with a rainbow beanie.

You would see people walking around with huge flags hung around them like capes, and everybody was so accepting of that. Everybody was super nice.

Anyways, besides booths, there was a lot of music and stuff, including a Drag Stage for Drag Queens and that kind of thing, as well as a larger stage in front of a field where a lot of singer-songwriters performed.

I was there for about 3 hours, and I pretty much loved every second of it.

If you ever have the opportunity to go to a Pride event, whether it’s the festival or the parade or both, it’s totally an amazing experience, and I recommend that you go, LGBTQ+ or not. 

(wow that took ages)

sO yEaH!

I’m sorry this post is a bit on the bleh side, but I hope it was (kinda) worth reading.

I don’t know what I’m doing for SCIENCE!. I know I haven’t posted for the last two and I probably won’t post it tomorrow because a) no ideas and b) they take so much time to write, so my apologies about that.

Alright, see you in the next post.

Have wonderful lives!