gauging, getting high off anxiety, and teapot lamps


It’s Cat.

I put my gauges back in!

These are my favorites, because they remind me of my cat’s, Sullivan, bright blue eyes 👀

They are actually 10 mm, but meant to look like a 2mm pair.

For those of you unfamiliar with gauge sizes, let me explain them.

Gauge sizes are measured in millimeters, and are 2 mm apart from eachother (skip-counting by 2’s).

Here’s a chart:

12mm (smallest)

10mm (my size)



2mm (goal-what I want to size up to)

0 g

00g (largest)

As you can see, I didn’t go very big at all.

I’m not emo, I swear.

Just ask any of the people whom know me irl.

Moving on from gauges!

I have a new song!

| high on anxiety |

WATCH BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER: https://youtu.be/Qdy7Sak-bpo

I picked up my uke, figured out a chord progression, started up Garage Band, and began to sing whatever cane to my mind.

That’s right, I didn’t write any lyrics prior to recording this. 

I literally just sang what came to my mind, and about stuff I saw around my room.

Such as an old Moon Pie box I turned into a vase, and my cat, whom was laying on my lap (you can kinda hear him purring if you listen closely).

Oh! And I’d like to clear something up about a few of the ‘lyrics,’ if that’s what I can call them.

“I really like this boy”

I don’t actually like anyone, so shut up.

I know after hearing that lyric you were like, “INKNEW IT HAHAH!”

But, it’s actually kinda depressing.

The ‘boy’ is just a metaphor/personification type thing for happiness.

I refer to this ‘boy’ as mean and passive-aggressive, because that’s what happiness is for someone with depression.

Happiness is hard to grasp in the first place, and it’s even harder to keep holding onto it, and then it turns from a solid into sand slowly falling in between the fingers it made do horrible things.

It’s like one moment you think you’ve really got it, that you’ve finally obtained true happiness. And that feeling is so solid, you don’t even see it fading.

And the next moment, it’s just…gone. 

Like a guy who just leaves his wife.

A ‘boy,’ in a sense, because leaving his wife and child with no warning is just…crude. It’s a very childish and immature thing to do. It portrays the man as a boy whom doesn’t exactly know how to properly treat women, or girls.

But, not all boys are like this, so don’t comment “This isn’t true, and as a guy, I would know…blah blah feminist bullcrap blah blah..”

It’s just very…boyish for a man to just leave a woman and her child.

Y’know what I’m saying?

Conclusion: The ‘boy’ referred to in my song is not a male human, but a metaphor for happiness. 

However, boys do not equal happiness.

Remember that.

You don’t need a boy to make you happy.

Moving on!

The mini teacup lamp returns, still as aesthetic as ever!

It’s so cute! I love it so much!

Here’s more photos of my room, lovies!

And that’s it!

shoutout to my fren riseofthechairs for being my No Sleep Club buddy, cause no one else is awake💕

“Up on melancholy hill, there’s a plastic tree….”


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