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spider-related horror stories in the space of 24 hours

*you sit still, listening to a fan blow, and distant piano playing and singing…all the sudden, the piano and singing stops, and there is a gasp of fright…*

hOI!

So today, i’d like to talk about spiders, and more importantly how deathly afraid I am of them.

ONE MINOR NOTE OF SOMETHING FUNNY THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SPIDERS:

While I was getting a trash bag out earlier today, I somehow knocked over an entire box of nails…I don’t know how, just that next thing I knew I was sorting a bunch of nails into a box.

OKAY, NOW SPIDERS:

Seriously, I came in contact with 3 spiders today, and for someone who is very very very afraid of spiders, that is 3 too many.

And the third spider I saw, I came in contact with less than 10 minutes ago, and I’m still freaked out about it.

Here’s some funny and relatable quotes from “Teenager Posts”, also known as what I often search at 3 AM with a glass of water…gotta love that unnecessary information…

Post #4002-“Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you”…”Yeah…so is a grenade…”

Post #7793-If spiders start flying, i’m leaving this planet.

Now, for the sake of your entertainment, I’m going to tell you the stories of me flipping out over an insect.

CONTACT TIME #1-I was sweeping the entire house, because i’m a good child. I was feeling pretty good about the fact that there were no spiders under the towels by the back door, since I vividly remember a very large spider coming out of those once. But, it was time to lift up the front door doormat. The second I lifted it up and set it down, ready to sweep, there was a regular sized spider (I’d think brown recluse but I don’t know, since that’s not the type of thing I google) right in front of the door. I freaked out, and my mom kept telling me, “It’s easy, just sweep it out the door!” but you don’t understand…WHEN YOU’RE AFRAID OF SPIDERS, YOU WANT NO CONTACT WITH THEM WHATSOEVER. Yes, I couldn’t even touch one with the broom, so my mom had to get up and sweep it out for me.

CONTACT TIME #2-This happened literally right after the horror story above. I was sweeping away all the dirt under the mat, when a spider emerged from the depths of awfulness in the mess, running out across the floor. I jumped and dropped the broom. This time, I was encouraged to get a paper towel and crush it, but that’s way too close for comfort. But, it was about to crawl underneath a bookcase/storage unit type thing in the living room, and I wasn’t going to do anything, so my mom had to help me again. Thanks, mom.

CONTACT TIME #3-The fear in my heart is still raw as i’m writing this. I was in the music room of my house, which has one mattress type thing to sleep on, a tiny twin-sized bed as well, and a lot of musical instruments, including a piano/keyboard whatever. I was playing around on it, and had just ran through a song that I wrote two days ago called “earthquake”, and right after I did so, I glanced down from the piano/keyboard, and saw something move by the right leg of the piano. As I focused on it, I realized in terror, that it was a spider the size of my whole palm, or close to it-it was a big spider, okay? I yelped, almost falling off the stool by the piano, and watched as it crawled underneath the mattress.

I never want to see that creature again. Or any other spiders, rather. I know they kill mosquitoes, but oh please-spiders are terrifying.

So those are my spider horror stories for today. Do tell me in the comments:

Are you afraid of spiders? 

You now have some of my kryptonite, world, please don’t use it against me.

Also, i’m contemplating the topic of my next SCIENCE! entry, so if you have any controversial science-ish topics, feel free to let me know.

Have wonderful lives!

-Victoria

*It was Weird Account of course. Little do you know that Weird Account was scared by the sound of a record/vinyl bag falling, because she thought it was a spider. It’s your decision whether or not to be concerned.*

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