the anatomy of bad days

*morning sinking, wide awake nights, they never exactly leave, do they?*

hOI!

So, i’ve been up since 3:30 AM for no reason at all. My mind just went, “Eyyyyyyyyyy Victoria! Wake up and stare at the ceiling for the next 4 hours!” and that’s pretty close to what i’ve been doing. Actually, as i’m writing this, i’m completely ready to go to school….I take an hour to get ready just about, and it’s 6:23 right now.

But I wanted to talk about the mindset behind something I unfortunately have lots of experience with: Bad days. But a different type of bad day-not where everything you touch malfunctions somehow, but more like an emotionally bad day.

The kind where you wake up and wish you never woke up. The kind where your mind seems like a cloud of black fog. The kind where you can’t think straight because all you can think about is how you feel like you’re being ripped apart at the seams. Metaphorically, of course, because last time I checked humans aren’t like giant stuffed teddy bears.

A bad day for everybody differs by person and differs by day.

I’ve mainly had three kinds:

The Silent Day: This is rarer for me, and it happened after something very horrible. It lasted about the entire week after this ‘event’. I basically felt like I couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, like I was paralyzed even though I could still do those things. These days come with extreme distance, and I can’t think straight or properly listen.

The Cover-Up Day: Happens very frequently when I feel like something is so wrong inside, that my mind is trying to suffocate itself, but I preferably try and hide it.

The Blank Days: Fairly similar to The Silent Days, but I mean blank by emotions. I don’t feel anything at all. May not even be triggered by an event.

So, what is the science behind them?

I do have problems in my head that probably do have to do with what I just said, but as humans, we all have good or bad days. Days where we wake up and feel good, and days where we just don’t want to put up with anything or anyone and hide in bed all day.

Silent Days:

I don’t know so much about it because it’s so bizarre, but i’ve come up with the idea that Silent Days are kind of like the after effect of something bad, like I described previously. Whatever you went through may have strained your mind, which causes the feeling like you are still-exhausted emotionally.

Cover-Up Days:

This day is just altered by my often detached persona, so whatever the science is for this kind of day(s) won’t apply to you.

Blank Days:

To find the post that exactly explained when I was going through this period of time, go to my post titled “borderline”. Here’s the link: https://rileysbackpack.com/2017/02/06/borderline/

That post explains everything about Blank Days, as I was going through one: you feel like you are in some kind of limbo, borderline in between emotions.

But really, at the end of the day, this is just me, and the anatomy behind the bad days that I have had. So, what about you? Feel free to comment a different type of bad day, emotion wise. I have had those days where everything I touch seems to fall, but that’s not my point.

Remember, you don’t have to comment if you don’t want to comment, even if that means I get no comments.

Hope you enjoyed this odd deep entry that I came up with that was the first thing I thought to write about besides sharing creative works in the last week.

Not exactly the post like I described in poison, “EY THIS IS MY LIFE NOW WOOP WOOP LOOK HOW INTERESTING YES BE JEALOUS”. My life is nothing to be jealous about, I just had a thought that I wanted to emphasize and share.

And about Silhouette: I have written Chapter Three, “Verboten”, and according to Google that means, “forbidden, especially by an authority” BECAUSE I PUT THAT MUCH THOUGHT INTO THE THINGS I WRITE. Problem is, I need to edit a bit of it because I wrote it kinda late into the night, but after that, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for it.

Have wonderful lives, biscuits!

-Victoria

*i don’t think anybody noticed that I started this entry with an unanswered question to make you read more, but my English teacher would be proud because I used a hook. And the answer? Bad days can leave, but never completely, at least in my terms, and that’s not a good thing*

20 thoughts on “the anatomy of bad days

  1. the kind of days where you feel nothing but blinding hatred for those around you – not even because they did anything. it’s more like, how dare they be happy when i’m about to break down at any moment?

    the kind when you feel nothing but blinding hatred for yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

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