*You haven’t seen Weird Account for a long time, and you are hoping to rekindle the relationship. It was early in the morning, and you were sitting at the table in the kitchen. Suddenly, you hear a door open. Somebody stumbles out. You go to help, but realize that their eyes are glazed and they aren’t really conscious, so you tell them to go back to bed*
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to sit down and write an entry and find that it becomes a bit too personal. But, my reason for that was that yesterday was, I will go to this extent, one of the worst days in my entire life *so far*.
I can’t disclose what happened, but everything went wrong when I was dismissed early around 11 A.M. Then, it was just like watching everything around me break and crumble to the floor. I don’t even know how i’m still alive.
I wanted to write an entry about this lyric I heard in the Alessia Cara song called ‘Scars To Your Beautiful’, (which is a very nice song by the way), and my insight on it. I couldn’t do that yesterday because, I noticed, when i’m having a horrible day, it shows through my writing. It seems more quick to move along per usual. So, I’m not going to make entries while i’m like that.
I’m going to do the lyric now, as i’m a lot better.
*Patrick from SpongeBob….hahaha*
In ‘Scars To Your Beautiful’, in the first verse, Alessia sings,
“So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away,
‘Cause cover girls don’t cry after the face is made.”
This spoke to me on many levels. I am a makeup user. I started using it when I was going somewhere and thought to experiment. But, “Makeup is a harmful drug. Once you start using it, you feel ugly without it” (Anonymous). This is exactly what happened to me. I’m at a stage where my self esteem is getting increasingly worse, and makeup feels like a necessity to make me feel better. I’ve had experience with crying in makeup before (heck, I did that yesterday). It’s true that, when you wear makeup regularly, you feel like you can’t REALLY cry, and that’s how I’ve felt before. That’s how I related to this lyric.
There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of makeup here and there to have a little fun. But, what’s wrong is when you wear it because you depend on it, even if there isn’t a reason to.
I sleepwalked this morning.
It’s probably because I got knocked out cold and was so deep asleep that I did this. You may want to know how I can tell. I’m a crazy sleeper already, but I have never left my bedroom before, by my knowledge. But, that wasn’t the case this fine morning. I went to bed in my bedroom (of course), and woke up at 5 A.M….on the couch outside my bedroom. I was very confused. Considering the fact that the couch is many yards away from my door (well, you have to go forward, walk to the right, then go to the right again, so it’s quite a distance to sleepwalk), I decided that I had to have came out there while I was sleep.
AND THAT WAS CONFUSING AS ALL FRIDGES.
I mean, come on, I woke up in a different place then I went to sleep. I was curled up in a ball on the couch. So, I questioned life for a minute, then went back to my bedroom and slept a little more there.
My question for you lovely biscuits today is:
Do you think I should still do deep entries?
Well, we’ve reached the end of this thingamajig. I’d like to apologize for being inactive for almost an entire week. How unheard of for me.
Have wonderful lives.
*You watch them lay down on the couch, and realize that it’s Weird Account. You didn’t actually realize it then, you realized it at the beginning of this entry, but your ruining the flow, so stahp it. You are raised with concern that they might stumble into the kitchen next and break something, but they just continue sleeping on the couch*